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Saturday, June 17, 2017

I knew it Was Coming...

I knew the day or night would come when the official panic attack would strike and I would freak out. Well tonight at 12:39am it happened. Too much stress, too much worry, too much fear and anxiety to close my eyes and sleep. Our house being built is taking longer than planned and we have to be out of our home at a certain time and we just feel like we are in limbo. I mostly feel heart sick for our little ones who are going to be uprooted and lost. I so worry for little Owen and I fear after a week in the new house, he will want to go "home". I don't think I'm ready for that. And for little June to not see her regular friends. She gets so sad at that thought and it just crushes me seeing her so sad. It's so silly and stupid. I get so emotional over this kind of stuff. Maybe I shouldn't blog at one o'clock in the morning. HA!  Everything is going to work out but it's hard as I sit here in my quiet house full of sleeping people who I adore and listen to the comfort of all the sounds this little house makes and thinking about all the memories it  has brought us for 5 years, I panic and realize how scared I am of this change thats about to happen. It's such a necessary change. My family needs it. We need more space, we need room for our children to grow and not feel so on top of each other. Moving here we knew it was a temporary five year house. And boy, we stuck to that five years. I knew as time got closer to the move the more harder it would be and how so many memories would come flooding back about this house. Even though this house has been so freaking hard to manage! It's home. It's our comfort. It's where my children know as safe. I know that will come with the new house, it all just takes time. I really wish I wasn't so sentimental at times. It would really help make things go so much smoother. Haha. I truly am beyond words excited for our new home. Truly! Not having to deal with plugging in my washing machine every time to do a load of laundry, dealing with the stupid sliding door that gets full of rocks and then becomes impossible to open. Dealing with it being an older home and feel like it's going to fall apart at any moment. And don't even get me started on the electrical work in this house. So many switches connected to the most random outlets. But this little home has brought us so much joy and cherished memories that we will never forget. I don't think you can ever truly express what it's like with your first home. You learn and grow so much! I mean we went from a family of three to a family of five here! The new house is going to be so wonderful but I feel it ok to still allow the change to hurt. It's part of the process. I guess in this late hour I just want to say that when it really comes down to it, we have loved this home and are grateful for all we have experienced here. We can't wait to see what the future holds even if it makes me incredibly scared. Just want to say thanks little Spyglass house in Carrollton, Texas. You've been great.

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