OK so the point of this post today. Let's take a step back into history. Yesterday.
This day was awful. I hate bragging about June... oh wait no I love it.. seriously though I feel like June has been such an amazing daughter, and I hope I don't hurt anyone's feelings when I say this, but to me motherhood just hasn't been that hard! I said that until Yesterday. Oh yesterday. I hate you.
I won't go in to much detail, but yesterday was the first day I was driven to tears because I was frustrated. With myself, with June, with my dirty house, with no dinner plans. I just hate feeling so unplanned. She wouldn't sleep. All she wanted to do was be held. Dishes were still in the sink, and the things I wanted to get done yesterday just didn't happen. It was a horrible feeling. I hate my house being a mess. I hate the feeling of constant laziness and how it's just so mind numbing. Yes, yes it's parenthood and I know these day's are few and far between, but it happened to me. I feel a little embarrassed it happened to me. I was a mess. I felt ugly all day. I admit that I felt like a bad mom yesterday.
I even officially caved and plopped June down in front of our TV and a bowl full of cheerios, just so I could get some things done around the house. It's not me, I didn't like it, and I totally judge myself for it.
Dan came home and hugged me tight while I shed a few more tears. He reassured me I was a good mother, and that June would not grow up dumb for how much TV she watched for the day... Oh and P.S. Don't get me wrong, June does watch TV. I'm not that weirdly crazy. I just keep it very minimal and it's NOT an everyday thing! OK record straight!
Despite the 5am wake up call with only 4 hours of sleep and no nap with a cold. She still made me laugh and Thankfully today she is back to my happy girl. Napping away! I love her so much!
Here is a little video of her laugh even during the ugliest of days. Oh yes, I do call her Quasimodo because of her little teeth. I watched this video a lot. Her laugh is so contagious and It really did change my day.
So obviously we made it through the day. We are back to normal and feeling much better. I really wanted to just post the video, but somehow my whole pity story left my fingers and continued to keep typing.I don't expect pity from anyone. I think it's good to write down bad times too. I am not all about writing butterflies and ponies of life. I like the real things every once in a while. I apologize, in a way that I really don't apologize. Ok. Bye.
2 comments:
So, I just now read this after seeing you today, and I just have to say that I'm SO LUCKY to be your friend. Which sounds like a totally weird response, but you're awesome, and June's laugh is adorable. :)
Les! I want you to know what an amazing mom you are! I'm sorry you had a bad day!! I wish I could tell you it would be your one and only, but it won't!! But remember this.... June adores you and loves you! She probably thinks you were the most awesome mom for letting her watch TV with a bowl of Cheerios!
You were one of the most amazing people, mom I've ever known!! I love you!
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