It's a note to me

Dear yourself,
(Lesli or Mom)

     She turns one tomorrow. I am writing to myself in hopes that this keeps some of  the memories as a mother from the past year closer to mind and even closer to heart. The first year of her life has been one of the most amazing things. I survived the first year. I'm sure it only gets better and harder as we start in the toddler stages and as the idea of more children come into play, but I want to remember this past year as one of the best in my life. I mean how can it possibly get better?
     It's amazing how fast she has grown this year. It feels like yesterday we were heading to the hospital knowing that this would be the last time it would be just me and Dan.

One year ago today!


The greatest thing though, is that now its me, him and her. Life is so simple but yet so good.
Bringing her home and realizing that this is it. I am now a mom. I thought how can I do this?How can I be responsible for keeping her alive? But I really have become a mother. I don't want to forget moments that seem so small now, but wanting them back. I love when she follows me around,  and when she climbs on my legs while cooking or cleaning, or how sometimes, the thought of putting her down from my arms, feels unbearable. I try my best to play with her everyday. I watch her grow and learn new things, literally everyday. Lesli,  Don't forget to keep watching her. Even with other kids, don't let them blend all together and forget that they are each individuals who you want to watch grow up.  I feel like through this first year I have tried my hardest and done my best to raise my little girl.
     I don't think I have ever been challenged more in my life than I have with a child. I question myself probably every single day if I am doing things right, and how I am measuring up being a mother, and so many aspects of  life change and from an outside point of view I can see why people may choose to never have kids, because it is more work, it's giving up yourself to help raise another person. It's choosing to be selfless and sacrificing a lot from your life, but at the end of the day, I get to see a happy, healthy little girl, who is mine, and I ask again, how could things get any better?
      This first year of her life, I can look back and be proud of how she is developing, how really I am a good mother, how I have a husband who didn't miss a beat at becoming a great dad. We struggle, we have our moments of questions and concerns, but it's working out. We aren't by any means perfect parents, but man, we are so in love with our little girl. I love her with every fiber of my being. I'm still a little in awe at this tiny little person, and that she is mine. So remember that. Remember on bad days that they will pass and in the end you love this little girl, and you are her mother.

Good work this first year Les, You should be proud!

Love yourself.